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12 mars 2008


C’est du moins le titre du nouveau livre sur lequel travail John Joseph.

Après The Evolution of A Cro-Magnon paru à la fin de l’année dernière, il est de retour avec un livre qui nous rappelle les vertus du végétarisme. L’introduction a été mise en ligne et le tout est écrit dans un style reflétant toute la conviction dont Joseph est capable.

Who propagated this bullshit that meat makes you macho? My guess is it’s the same big business assholes that told you the Marlboro man was a stud. Eating defenseless animals doesn’t make you tough numbnuts. It makes you a coward. You wanna eat meat? Instead of purchasing factory killed, slickly packaged animal parts, have some balls and try this: Go out to the woods or jungle, tear down an animal with your bare hands, rip it apart and eat it. I guarantee you you’ll find out just what a big pussy you are because you’ll get your ass handed to you like some idiot on that TV show « When Animals Attack. »

I’ve met so many weight lifter Neanderthals over the years that were like, « Yo, I need meat, it makes me aggressive. » Or my favorite, the protein myth, « Yo, where do you get your protein from guy? » as if the only source for protein is dead, rotting carcasses. In reality there are dozens of sources of protein that doesn’t require the systematic incarceration, torture, and finally, slaughter of animals. And as far as aggression, I know some vegetarians that will rip your fuckin’ head off in a New York minute.

These people have all bought into the lies and propaganda put out there by the douche bags running the meat industry who are some of the most powerful lobbyists in the U.S. Do you remember that bullshit ad campaign they ran a while ago? « Beef it’s what’s for dinner… » yeah, and cancer, arterial sclerosis, high blood pressure, impotence, as well as dozens of other meat-eating related diseases… that’s your karmic dessert.

I’m sick of people, who are either ignorant of the facts, or even worse, have hidden agendas, dissing vegetarians because we care about animals and the environment. What do you want to live in a barren wasteland dick wad? Now, just so we get off on the right foot here I want you to know my background. I’m not some new age, macro-psychotic wimp trying to get you to eat your sprouts. Most new age people make me fucking puke. The fact is I’ve probably had a harder life then 90% of you out there. Just read my first book, « The Evolution of a Cro-Magnon. » I survived orphanages, abusive foster homes, boy’s homes, NYC’s mean streets in the mid-seventies at 14, shootings, stabbings, lock-ups, drug addiction, homelessness, the music business and the list goes on. So if anyone knows a thing or two about being tough and fighting on it’s me. What I’m giving you in this book is a no-holes-barred, New York style beat down for your brain cells on real health and real nutrition, and I’m not pulling any punches.

To be honest I don’t blame you carnivorous fuckers for being turned off to a vegetarian diet by the looks of a majority of vegetarians. The first thing meat-eaters say to me is, « Damn, you’re a vegetarian? » I know what they mean. Most vegetarians look like weak-as-fuck string beans. But I’ve been at this a long time, almost 30 years, and I’m as physical as they come. On any given day it’s not at all uncommon for me to run ten miles, hit the gym, pump some weights, then hit the bags for another hour. As a matter of fact just last year in ’07, I ran the Marine Corps Marathon and I beat every fucker in the running crew I ran with, some of whom were almost half my age. Their reaction as they crossed the finish line to find me cooled off enjoying a snack, « Damn old man… »

At 45 I’m still a stage diving, triathlete maniac and I attribute the longevity to two things… consistency in my training and the most important, proper food choices. Over the years I’ve worked out at so many gyms and watched trainers instructing people and the one thing I find ridiculous is most of these guys don’t know shit about nutrition. I mean, at one old school gym on the Lower East Side I had this Puerto Rican bodybuilder tell me Alpo-burgers are great protein and if its good enough for his pit bull, its good enough for him. That’s an extreme case, but you get my point. If you aren’t hip to what the fuck you’re putting in your body it’s like trying to light a fire (training), but constantly throwing water on it at the same time with what you’re stuffing your face with.

That’s why in this book, the first thing I’m going to do is tell you exactly what all that shit your eating is really doing to your body. Then I’m going to show you alternatives, even show you how to cook great tasting meals and give you a seven-day work out and meal plan. Notice I don’t use the word diet… diets are for pussies. If you’re tired of being an Atkins’, Jenny Craig, or Weight Watcher-type diet pussy, man up because this book is for you. But, on the other hand if you’re happy with your yo-yo diets and calorie counting like a fat chick in her Curves calorie class, return my book and continue on with your chronic pussy-ism.

I’ll show you what’s worked for me as well as so many others I’ve turned on to this knowledge. Remember, the first part of learning is to keep an open mind and try new things. It’s all about live foods, whole foods, green foods, energy producing foods, foods that have their enzymes in tact, plant based protein foods that don’t put strain on your body’s organs to digest them, and most importantly, foods that taste amazing and are 100% meat-free.

Make no mistake about it; my intention is to get all you Joe-meat-and-potato-head fuckers to stop eating meat for your own sake. That’s why I put some kick-ass, easy to make, nutrient rich meals in the back of this book and some super-food recommendations as well, that will kick you, your metabolism and your libido into overdrive.

If you take advantage of this knowledge and combine it with a good exercise regiment, you’ll become an unstoppable force to be reckoned with instead of a two-pump-chump in the gym, and the bedroom. The choice is yours, you can continue on your path of debilitating health, being weak, tired and miserable, or listen up to what your woman’s been telling you all along, « It’s about longevity » and just in case you didn’t know it, meat not only affects your endurance down the road, but your schlong as well! Ah, now I got your attention, don’t I fucker? Read on and you’ll find out how.

I decided to pen this book at the urging of people I’ve given advice to over the years who were like, « Damn bro, this is easier than I thought. » No shit Sherlock. I use the acronym K.I.S.S. as my mantra… Keep It Simple Stupid. It ain’t rocket science. I studied this for almost 30 years and besides having a degree from The University of the Streets in Ass-Kicking-101, I know my info on health better than lots of people in the health field. Bottom line… most doctors are pussies. Why you ask? Because they don’t deal in prevention they just want to sell you the drug company’s medicine to treat the disease. Very expensive medicine I might add. See that’s because there’s no money in the cure. If you’re healthy most of them are out of work, that’s why there’s practically no research conducted in preventive medicine i.e. herbs and natural foods. The FDA is even trying to make herbs & whole food vitamins illegal. Do they suck wooly-mammoth balls or what? So it’s up to you… you can continue to be a pussy and fuck yourself up, or you can be a real man and pull up your pants.

With my approach I always try to be a little philosophical. As such I hope I don’t overload any brain cells here by quoting the late Eleanor Roosevelt who said, « Somewhere along the line of our development we discover what we really are, and then we make our decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never live anyone else’s life. » Exactly fella’s, it’s all about you making lifelong changes, and you never retreating back to a life of unhealthiness. Every journey in life starts with a first step. The first step on this journey is to understand that as the harmful effects of meat take a toll on your body…. YOU WILL BECOME A PUSSY.

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